My List

Tonight I watched A Walk to Remember.

Those of you how have seen it, know that this movie is Sad.

But even when I knew the ending, I could still smile throughout the whole movie.

It made me Hope for Love and Life.

It made me realize that I haven't ever sat down and thought about those small

and simple things that I want to do in life.

Of course I've done those lists of the "5 years from now, 10 years from now"

but I was always so vague. I just wanted to list the basic goals and be done.

But I've never sat and thought about the small details.

The little things that make me smile, the things I want to get out of life, now and in the future.

So, I decided to make a list of the things that I want, and the things I hope for.

Its not an organized list. Nor, is it a list that an english teacher will ever get a hold of,

because its My list. A list I create, I can add to it, I can cross things off.

It can be sloppy or numbered.

Any way, Its my list.

I want to pack my bags, get in my car, and drive. I don't want to have a destination, or a care in the world. I just want to go. I want to see the small book shops, and old, weathered men sitting on the side of the road. I want to drive through the greenest trees into the most humid seasides. I want to see the sunflowers, let the wind tangle my hair and not worry how it looks when I've arrived. I want to listen to music the whole way. Screaming the lyrics at the top of my lungs. I want to see the world, and hold it in my hands, I want to discover the feelings Ive never felt and relive the most perfect moments Ive lived in. I want to smile as the sun rises, and the sunshine warms my face. I want to hold a tiny baby, one that has never been loved like I could love it. I want love that little baby like its own never could. I want to serve the sick and those who don't have what Ive been blessed with. I want to work and sweat and build a home for someone who doesn't have one. I want to read to an elderly woman, take her back to her days when she stood in the road and twirled in circles, when she used to buy sodas for a nickel. I want to lay on the beach of a beautiful place, sift the sand through my fingers. I want to ride a horse on the shore and watch as the waves crash around me. I want to sit in a tree, and carve my name next to someones, with a heart. Just like in the movies. I want to smell the gasoline and hear the brapt of the dunes, feel the cool air all around me as I hold tight. I want to make blueberry pancakes for my kids in the morning, and teach them to sing in the afternoon, even though I dont know how. I want to build a fort and pretend we live in an enchanted land where we ride horses and save the helpless. I want to wake to the bed bouncing and my kids all around me. I want to feel my heart race and my stomach fill with butterflies, I want to smile knowing I've gotten as far as the Lord wants to lead me. I want to fill my home with the spirit and with learning. I want to grow old , and sit on a rocking chair at the end of a summer night, cold lemonade in my hand and talk of the days we were young and wild. I want to kiss my tiny baby, study its features and marvel at the miracle that I created it. I want to sing songs all day long, and pick wild flowers in a field. I want to work hard everyday, knowing I get to comfort and reassure the sick. I want to be someones miracle. I want to make someone smile, who never does. I want to lift up the people that surround me and inspire others to be better. I want to be better, I want act better and I want to help other be better. I want to give away this Love that I have in my heart to so many people. I want to use this spirit that I have for all that it was meant to be used for. I want to bring other unto this Gospel.

I want others to know the Peace and Comfort that I feel when I know I have the Lord in my life.

The peace that I feel when I know that if Ive made a mistake I can pray to my father in heaven and ask him for forgiveness. I want others to feel this feeling that I have. When I can go to sleep at night, and know that I will be protected from the dangers of the world, because the Savior loves me.

As I watched A walk to remember, I felt a small flame of Hope burn inside me, that one day I would be able to do some many of these things, and so much more.

Because the Lord has bigger plans, than I have for myself.

And I want to be on that plan, I want to live so that I can see where that takes me. I dont want to take this life for granted just because I know there is a life after this. I want to fulfill all that I need to here and now, in this life, so that when I go to the next, Im ready.

I want my family, and my friends to know that I love them.

That they mean the world to me, and not only that, but they mean Forever.

I want them to know that I want to see them in the life hereafter, smiling because they have found the peace that living this life right will have brought them.

I want them to know that I believe they deserve the world, they deserve happiness and peace. And I hope they find it. I know they will.

I'll be back to add more, or, perhaps Ill just write another post. Infact, that sounds about right. Considering how much I love to type. Obviously.

Take the time to write down the small and simple things you want to do, and one by one.

Do them.

Its good for the soul.

Love, Bree

Courage

Alma 53:20-22

And they were all young men and they were exceedingly valiant for

courage, and also for strength and activity; but behold, this was not all-

they were men who were true at all times in whatsoever thing they were entrusted.

Yea, they were men of truth and soberness, for they had been taught to keep the commandments of God and to walk uprightly before him.

And now it came to pass that Helaman did march at the head of his two thousand stripling soldiers, to the support of the people in the borders of the land on the south by the west sea.

When I read these scriptures last night, I recalled upon two different types of courage, strength, activity and truth in all things.

There are men and woman fighting in horrific battles, risking their lives every moment so that we might have freedom.

There are men and woman who are sacrificing the oppurtunities of life for something greater than they, missionary work.

In verse 20 it says "...they were men who were true at all times in whatsoever thing they were entrusted."

I want to be this valiant and courageous. I want to be TRUE in all things.

I want the Lord to Entrust me with important battles, and work. I want him to Entrust me with the things of this life and the things of the life to come.

Entrust.

: to confer a trust on; especially : to deliver something in trust to

: to commit to another with confidence

I want the Lord to know He can Trust me. And that He can commit to me in confidence that I can do it. That I will.

I want to stand for strength and activity. I want to do the Lords work in all things. Follow his path, and his will for me.

In turn, I can put my Faith in the Lord, and follow his commandments and entrust him to guide me where He would have me go, where I Know I will be happiest.

I'm grateful for this scripture. For the Men and Woman who fight for my freedom

and for the Men and Woman serving Missions for the

Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Im grateful for their Courage, Valiance and Support.

I want to be as Helaman, and Lead my brothers and sisters to the support of eachother.

I want to support members and non-members of the church.

I want to support family.

I want to support others.

Not because I have to.

But because I want to.

I need to be humble. and Grateful for the blessings in my life.

For all that Ive been given.

I need to be more courageous and valiant and stand for whats Good and Right.

I want to be entrusted with the care and love and support of others.

No matter the circumstance.

Because I can, and because I want to be like my brother Jesus Christ.

I strive to be like him and in being like Him, I am like Helaman.

I am like the men and woman who are serving around the world.

No matter the difference in their service, it is Service.

Thank You to all the Soldiers and Missionaries who are doing all that they can to bring freedom and rightness to those around them. I keep you in my prayers and am humbled and privelaged at all that you do.

Walk Uprightly before the Lord, be true at all times in whatsoever you are entrusted , and the Lord

will Bless you.

Close Call

As I sit in the Pew Home

watching Tressa and Hyrum play with transformers and

watch Bedtime Stories

I try to decide what I want to write today.

I recieved a Phone call just now

with word that my Dad has been in an accident

My mom says he is okay, But he hit his chest pretty hard.

As I type, They are with a doctor.

I don't know any more than that.

But one thing I know is that I am completely humbled.

I am afraid for my Dads safety and Health.

But

more importantly I knew that to find comfort in this scary time

I needed to pray.

I took myself to a bedroom and knelt humbly before the Lord

asking him for safety upon the rest of my family and

To watch over my dad and allow him to be okay.

As I prayed I knew all would be well.

I know that through faithfulness to the Lord and constant Prayer

with an open heart and contrite spirit that my family and loved ones will always be kept safe.

From the wiles of Satan, and the Dangers of the world.

I know that in this scare, I have realized the importance of Eternal Families.

It opened my eyes to the importance of showing my family all the Love that I feel for them.

It helped me realized that we are so blessed to have families here on this earth with us.

We are blessed to have eachother.

I cannot tell of the gratitude that fills my heart that my Dad is okay.

I am so grateful for him. I know he Loves me.

He sacrifices SO much everyday for me, and my family.

I know he loves me and supports me.

He is humble, kind, loving and Im so grateful for these things

and the things he does for me everyday. And for the example he sets.

I love my dad. I love my Father in Heaven for blessing me with such and amazing person in my life.

Im grateful for the assurance that in all trials, I can turn to the Lord, and I can always ask him for safety upon my friends and loved ones.

Be aware of those around you, Love them. Show your unconditional love for them.

Don't ever hold back and Never ever let your Pride get in the way.

It is more important to tell them you love them Now, than wish that you had done it later.

There are certain people in our lives for a reason. Never let those people go.

Hold onto them.

Hold onto your Hope and Faith that they will always be kept safe.

The Here and Now

The soft, cool air drifting gently through the windows of my car.

A quiet peace sat near as I lie in my seat. My hair removed neatly from my neck and placed on my shoulder. Single strands brushed against my face as I listen to the sound of the musty monsoon season drifting nearer. I lie with my eyes closed. One arm stretched atop my head and the other neatly place on the headrest. I feel comfortable. Peaceful. Quiet. The earth rotating around me.Yet I sit here, content. No movement beyond the time, as it slowly floats by. I don't notice the time. I don't feel the moments pass. I feel myself being in the moment. I am aware of each small sound. Crickets chirping their innocent sounds, the blades of what grass there is, were scratching against eachother. The lights buzzed softly with moths and tiny insects that only knew this moment and the light that surrounded them. I noticed the calm, quiet, steady breathing next to me. I listened intently to the perfect pace. My heart filled with gratitude for these blessings that are the moments I am in.

A peace so good, and right. No, these moments are not passing by. Like the tiny fluffs of summer that drift through the air and make me sneeze. I am taking them in. I know this moment. I feel this moment and I will always be able to reach inside and find those sweet increments of time

and relive them. Because I do not let these go by. I enjoy them.

I breathe in them.

I sing in them.

I laugh.

I listen.

I wonder.

I stop

and I feel.

I create.

I understand.

I am.

For in time,there will be a moment that will dance quickly by and never be endured or lived in.

But for those, we grasp these moments we do live in. And we remember.

The here and now.

Forever.

Dear Me

You've been going all day.

Although this is good...

You realize its alot better than just sitting in bed

waiting for the time to pass.

You really shouldn't think so much

but, well, thats you.

The little girl in the living room will sleep fine

and so will you.

But mostly

You should stop worrying about the things to come.

Like they say

theres a reason they call this the Present.

Because its a Gift.

Yes, It is.

But how will you Sleep when you're mind is cranking

at 100 miles a minute?

You will probably have to take a nice, relaxing hot shower.

Then, turn on some good, calm music and write a letter or two.

Then, in no time, you will be holding your eyelids open.

It's that simple.

Now, Get goin.

P.S. It's only a matter of time.

Love, You.

Should I, or Shouldn't I? Thats the Question.

2008

OLD....Chipmunk Cheeks and Crazy Hair....

Prom: 2005

OLD...

I don't know what to say. These pictures are...

Fabulous.

Not.

I'll Just be honest...

I want your Honest Opinion.

I think my hair needs a break from Blonde. Its been blonde for a year and a half.

Its bored, Im bored.

So, Im considering Dark, With bangs.

I just don't know.

In the end, I'll do what I decide last minute

sitting in that chair

But

either way, these white trash roots I have now, need to go!

Ha!

So, come one, come all.

Voice your opinions....but be gentle

Brown?

Eh?

One Of the Best days Ever.

All I can say is...

I've haven't FELT this happy...In awhile.

I haven't SMILED this much in ages.

I haven't had this feeling is so long.

And

I LOVE IT.

I Know Things work out for a reason.

I KNOW Heavenly Father will make paths for us.

I know that He loves me, Because even when I stray

even when I make a dumb choice

He still guides me.

He guides me because he wants me to know

He still loves me

and wants me to grow closer to Him.

I have seen so many countless Blessings in my life recently

Its hard to hold back the gratitude I have for my Father in Heaven.

He KNOWS me.

He LOVES me.

And because I know these things

It helps my testimony grow that I will be Happiest where he guides me.

I know fully, that if I am willing to sacrifice the little insignificant things I want NOW

and Do all that I can to grow closer to him...

The end result will be my COMPLETE happiness.

Inside. and Out.

I am SO happy today.

Even my mom noticed.

She said she hasn't seen me this happy in a long time.

And its because I have had some major changes

and some MAJOR closure.

and some MAJOR excitement.

One day, you will possibly know what Im speaking of.

But for now

Its a secret.

I Grand Secret.

A secret so wonderful

delightful

happy

funny

peaceful

right

good

and

REAL

that it will make even the toughest Smile.

Yes. One day I will write of Wonderful things.

But for now....

I just smile.

Because I know...All things work out in mysterious ways..

And I know its because thats how the Lord works.

And that my friends

Works for Me.