Tonight I watched A Walk to Remember.
Those of you how have seen it, know that this movie is Sad.
But even when I knew the ending, I could still smile throughout the whole movie.
It made me Hope for Love and Life.
It made me realize that I haven't ever sat down and thought about those small
and simple things that I want to do in life.
Of course I've done those lists of the "5 years from now, 10 years from now"
but I was always so vague. I just wanted to list the basic goals and be done.
But I've never sat and thought about the small details.
The little things that make me smile, the things I want to get out of life, now and in the future.
So, I decided to make a list of the things that I want, and the things I hope for.
Its not an organized list. Nor, is it a list that an english teacher will ever get a hold of,
because its My list. A list I create, I can add to it, I can cross things off.
It can be sloppy or numbered.
Any way, Its my list.
I want to pack my bags, get in my car, and drive. I don't want to have a destination, or a care in the world. I just want to go. I want to see the small book shops, and old, weathered men sitting on the side of the road. I want to drive through the greenest trees into the most humid seasides. I want to see the sunflowers, let the wind tangle my hair and not worry how it looks when I've arrived. I want to listen to music the whole way. Screaming the lyrics at the top of my lungs. I want to see the world, and hold it in my hands, I want to discover the feelings Ive never felt and relive the most perfect moments Ive lived in. I want to smile as the sun rises, and the sunshine warms my face. I want to hold a tiny baby, one that has never been loved like I could love it. I want love that little baby like its own never could. I want to serve the sick and those who don't have what Ive been blessed with. I want to work and sweat and build a home for someone who doesn't have one. I want to read to an elderly woman, take her back to her days when she stood in the road and twirled in circles, when she used to buy sodas for a nickel. I want to lay on the beach of a beautiful place, sift the sand through my fingers. I want to ride a horse on the shore and watch as the waves crash around me. I want to sit in a tree, and carve my name next to someones, with a heart. Just like in the movies. I want to smell the gasoline and hear the brapt of the dunes, feel the cool air all around me as I hold tight. I want to make blueberry pancakes for my kids in the morning, and teach them to sing in the afternoon, even though I dont know how. I want to build a fort and pretend we live in an enchanted land where we ride horses and save the helpless. I want to wake to the bed bouncing and my kids all around me. I want to feel my heart race and my stomach fill with butterflies, I want to smile knowing I've gotten as far as the Lord wants to lead me. I want to fill my home with the spirit and with learning. I want to grow old , and sit on a rocking chair at the end of a summer night, cold lemonade in my hand and talk of the days we were young and wild. I want to kiss my tiny baby, study its features and marvel at the miracle that I created it. I want to sing songs all day long, and pick wild flowers in a field. I want to work hard everyday, knowing I get to comfort and reassure the sick. I want to be someones miracle. I want to make someone smile, who never does. I want to lift up the people that surround me and inspire others to be better. I want to be better, I want act better and I want to help other be better. I want to give away this Love that I have in my heart to so many people. I want to use this spirit that I have for all that it was meant to be used for. I want to bring other unto this Gospel.
I want others to know the Peace and Comfort that I feel when I know I have the Lord in my life.
The peace that I feel when I know that if Ive made a mistake I can pray to my father in heaven and ask him for forgiveness. I want others to feel this feeling that I have. When I can go to sleep at night, and know that I will be protected from the dangers of the world, because the Savior loves me.
As I watched A walk to remember, I felt a small flame of Hope burn inside me, that one day I would be able to do some many of these things, and so much more.
Because the Lord has bigger plans, than I have for myself.
And I want to be on that plan, I want to live so that I can see where that takes me. I dont want to take this life for granted just because I know there is a life after this. I want to fulfill all that I need to here and now, in this life, so that when I go to the next, Im ready.
I want my family, and my friends to know that I love them.
That they mean the world to me, and not only that, but they mean Forever.
I want them to know that I want to see them in the life hereafter, smiling because they have found the peace that living this life right will have brought them.
I want them to know that I believe they deserve the world, they deserve happiness and peace. And I hope they find it. I know they will.
I'll be back to add more, or, perhaps Ill just write another post. Infact, that sounds about right. Considering how much I love to type. Obviously.
Take the time to write down the small and simple things you want to do, and one by one.
Its good for the soul.