I Am Grateful For: My Brother Coby

That's Us.

And this is my Older Brother Coby Duane.

He is one of my Favorite people, and Best Friends.

Granted, He has a girlfriend (who I also Love) and we have Busy Lives

I think of him as a Best friend

because we are so much alike.

We Have the same humor and have habit of talkin crazy with eachother

Which always gets the rest of the Family laughing.

I love my Bro. He is seriously one of the Funniest people Ive ever met.

He's tough, and he is super Cool

(I guess it runs in the family ... haha)

Coby is also very different than I am.

He owns a Zoo in his room... Practically. I wouldnt mind an animal or two

But Not a ZOO in my ROOM!

Okay, only if there were a Monkey.

I just wanted to say how neat he is.

He's super smart

WAY fun to go out fourwheelin with

and He supports me. He is always there for me

and I love him!

Im so glad he's my brother because some of my best memories and laughs

were with him!

Love you Cobus!

I Am Grateful For: My Brother Cade

Some days, I think I'd like to grab him by the ear and lug him to the garage.

But, Most days, I am Grateful for this Guy.

He's Hilarious.

He's So Smart.

And he's a Cutie Patootie!

I know he will accomplish amazing things in his life.

He has such a neat personality. Although SO different from the rest of us kids

He is different in amazing Ways. He's So totally cool.

I Love it when he has something funny to say

Admittedly, Sometimes I don't laugh even if I think its Hilarious.

or

Because Im too caught up in my own selfish thoughts

I dont pay attention to him

But I want to

And Im going to

Because He's AWESOME!

Its kinda like he just....Knows what to say.

He has a great imagination, and still acts like a kid. Like me.

We are so much more alike than sometime I like to admit.

I mean, He IS my little brother. Im supposed to give him

Tough Love , Right?

Anyway, I just hope that Kid knows How cool he is.

I think of him and my coolest little brother.

And

I think of him as my Friend.

Even if I dont act like it.

I know he will do great things

and I Know he's my brother for a reason.

I love this Kid!!

Paranoid

Well, I got invited to the Lake.

Lake Powell.

Am I excited? Of course.

But I am Paranoid.

I am not down 20lbs yet and I look awful in a Swimsuit.

I am so super embarrassed.

I don't know If I can make myself go.

Besides that I do not have natural wave or curl to my hair

and its flat as a board.

I will be on the beach, camping and swimming

for a whole week.

One Whole Week.

That means, No makeup.

Swimsuit all day and night.

No shower.

And lets not mention, that if I cant shave, Ill have hairy legs.

Gross.

I have almost made up my mind.

Some of us just don't have natural beauty

or

feel like we can look pretty just being Us.

Well thats Me.

I feel intimidated and Highly nervous.

What in the world!

Iwork out every day and am Trying to get myself in shape

But thats not good enough until I see results.

Sooooo What to do?

I just Do Not know.

Gaahhhhhhhh

It's a Feat

Dear Friends

I am going to start off by saying that sometimes there are things we just have to do

And in my time back home I have realized a list of things that I am in need of

1. A better Patience and Understanding for the Lord's Plan for me

2. A better spiritual well being.

3. A better attitude

4. A better way to relieve stress than by eating and sleeping

5. A healthier diet

6. An all around life Change.

Yes. I have decided, just as everyone does at some point in life

To Change.

I hadn't really dwelled on the life I had been living until I realized I wasn't Happy.

I went running one day and realized I could hardly run for a half of a mile.

I ate when I was upset.

I Sat around alot, feeling like I wasn't able to do much else.

And one day it hit me, that I could never be happy this way.

I don't do well with text book living, or monotonous schedules.

I do well with change and excitement.

So, seeing as how I have a very monotonous schedule with a very exciting girl

and not alot of ease when it comes to eating right or getting in my workout

I decided to take it into my own hands.

I went out on a limb and I got myself a gym membership

and a Personal Trainer.

Most people will argue that I could do it all on my own if really wanted to.

That its a waste of my money.

Here's what I have to say to those people.

I do well with challenges and I realized that for myself to lose the weight I need to

To Be Healthy

and to get in shape

I needed to do this for Myself. Its not for anyone but Me.

When I realized I couldn't hardly walk without my chest hurting me and my ankles

throbbing

I realized My life was more important.

My health was more important.

So, about a week ago, I start a new schedule.

8am-4pm Work

6pm Mon-Tue-Thurs-Fri Personal Training

Its not perfect, and yes theres alot of down time

But because I am actually being active

and Motivating myself to be better

It's working.

I can feel a difference in my walk.

In my spirit.

In my Life.

And thats what its all about.

Its not about the looks I get from guys

or the clothes I see on other people, that I want to wear.

Its not about sitting down and not seeing a roll on my stomach

or the way I look in my swimsuit.

None of that matters.

None of that will ever matter.

Because in the end, all that matters is

If I lived my life to the very fullest

and Loved every second.

When I am working out daily

When I take the time to read

or write my thoughts down

When I take the time to Pray, and get some spiritual insight

When I take the time for a Hot bath

and some Good Music

When I can wake up in the morning feeling the tightness in my muscles

though it be little

I can smile and Know that I am healing myself.

I am doing something for myself

So that I can do ALL that I can

For Others.

Its a circle

First, you must care for yourself.

Get yourself to a place of contentment and peacefulness.

Though it may not be perfect, because no life is, it will be Sweet.

Then, After you have brought yourself to that place,

You can Fully care for those around you.

When your focused on the health of your loved ones

it strengthens you even more

You feel more capable and more able.

You feel better, happier, more content.

But in NO way can this happen, Unless you Love yourself First.

So, Friends, I want to include you in my journey to self improvement.

I want to share with you the journey of a girl

who is broken inside, who is at a point in her life who feels like I am not capable of much.

Even just exercising daily.

These simple things have become hard for me

And I want you to be here with me as I Move Forward on my Journey.

I am going to do something that I would never imagine to do before now.

But I want to do this for myself.

This is like my Journal.

So, Here goes Nothin.

I'm Going to post a picture of Me. In my Chonies.

Okay, I lied, Not my Chonies.

A swimsuit.

The wretched Swimsuit.

I'm doing this to follow my own improvement.

I feel like If I share it with you, it will motivate me.

And maybe, If theres anyone out there like me, Who feels so broken inside

and so Uncontent with themselves,

You can do it with me.

I will Make it a goal to post once a month, maybe more

On my progress.

This will help me to force myself to change

because then I'll know that You will be watching.

Maybe no one will be.

But, Because I am ready for this change

and willing to humiliate myself

for my benefit.

I realize these are pretty immodest and kinda gross

But you do what you got to do right!

Well friends

These are just some pictures of me as I am in part in my life

in each picture

where I am struggling to feel good about myself.

Granted, it has NOTHING to do with the people in the pictures with me.

I love each of those people. Its just showing myself

How I am not happy.

So, This is the beginning post

To my journey on Self Improvement.

And I hope you'll be there along the way

Cause when someones telling me to do it, I can!

You are all amazing, each and everyone of you.

And I hope you know that the first step to finding happiness for YOU,

is self acceptance.

And KNOWING that you ARE worth the time

and the effort to moving forward and finding

Peace.

Be safe, and Until Next time.

Much Love

Bree

Long time Coming

It's been a long time comin'.

This feelin' I've got.
No rains gonna wash it

No Suns gonna bleach it

It's here and I want to run from it.

But

I plant my feet right here where Im at

Where my roots take me back

Im not leavin this place
Till Ive got dirt on my face

and some bone in my back.

Im holding out strong

Im gonna hold on

cause thats what my brother would do

He'd tell me to pray

and walk in his way

He'd tell me to smile

work and serve all the while.

My knees will get shaky

My heart will feel broken

the tears will roll
But Ill continue on my journey

till all things have been spoken.

I will not give up

I will not sit down and cry

Ill stand and make known the warrior I am.

Satan cant take me

Ive got my brother at my side
and with this faith, I wont hide

Its a battle worth fighting

My life is worth living

This spirit is worth strengthening

And I wont give up on myself.

*

Dear Friends

I feel like I want to share with you a story.

It's about me.

I took a bike ride tonight and wanted to just let the wind hit my face.

Sometimes its just nice to breathe in some fresh air and let all the bad go out.

So I did Just that.

I looked up at the stars and thought:

Heavenly Father, I know what the meaning of life is. I know where Im going and

why Im here. I know this gospel is true, I know its right and good.

I know whats right and whats wrong

I know you created this beautiful place and that Im here for a purpose.

But sometimes I wonder

When Ill get to the place

on this earth

When I am most peaceful.

I know that each day has its struggles. I am not naive

or stupid

Nothing comes easy.

But I also know

That through Faith, comes Hope.

And with faith and hope and alot of determination to fight for my own peacefulness.

My own Happiness.

And Goodness in my life.
I will find it.

And when I get there

It will be Bliss.

Because even then

My Trials and Tribulations

will seem worth the fight.

I know my Father in Heaven gave me this spirit

so I can fight

So I can know what its like to want to give up

and then realize

I am worth the fight.

That peace, that happiness.

Its worth the battle.

And once I win the war

The battles will come easier.

Lately I cry because I feel like I just can't do it.

I just cant go another day feeling like Ive got nothing to live for.

No goals.

But I do have alot to live for.

Ive got a Life to live for.

Family.
Sunrises, sunsets.

Laughing and crying.

Goosebumps.

Smiles.

It all seems worth it in that moment when I feel so happy

I want to cry

And that makes me know

Its worth it now

Even if I want to give up and just sit in bed all day.

"Broad is the gate, and wide the way that leadeth to the deaths; and many there are that go in thereat, because they receive me not..."

I've learned that only through my Faith in my Father in Heaven and in my brother Jesus Christ,

I can direct my own path, according to my Fathers plan for me, and it can be away from that broad gate.

I learned that I will make mistakes

and that through them I am strong.

But Now I know

it is not those mistakes that

Make me.

I make myself from the mistakes.

I do not let them mold me or determine my future.

I make it for myself.

" For straight is the gate, and narrow the way that leadeth unto the exaltation and continuation

of the lives, and few there be that find it..."

I walk on that straight and narrow path

from here until He comes again.

I will fight this war and win.

I will fight the battles and conquer

and when I go to the gates of Heaven and look at my Brother,and my Father in Heaven,

I will Know that in me

is the Truth, the Courage

The light.

All my weaknesses and downfalls

the trials

will have been made strong unto me.

I will be Done with my learning and growing

I will be strong and refined

I will know who I am

and the Fight that I fought.

And then

I will start all over.

" Around here, however,we don't look backwards for long. We keep Moving Forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we're curious...and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths."

Keep Moving Forward

I'm Sorry

Really.

If someone hurts me, offends me, or is rude.

I'll immediatly forgive them.

They don't even have to tell me they are sorry.

But for some reason

I am being hated on as of late.

I do a good deed.

I get punished.

Okay so, I could have done it differently but

that doesnt change that its done.

Or

that is was all done from the kindness of my Heart.

I think sometimes

We get carried away.

Life gets rough and Trials attack us.

Its like your senses are off kilter and we don't know what to do.

We feel violated

confused

frustrated

and angry.

But at any point in these trials

we must remember

Patience

Hope

and Love.

Because if we posses these qualities

Trials will always be much easier

on our

Hearts

our Spirits and our Bodies.

I totally dislike when there is contention in my life.

It just doesn't agree with my Simple way of thinking.

Which is

Forgive and Forget

and I wont regret.

Life is too short to be angry.

Angry enough to dig for more reasons to be angry

too short to be mad at someone whose done no wrong

too short to waste my thinking on angry thoughts.

I want to look back at yesterday, or even 5 years and say

I apologized and I did what I could.

I was kind, I was patient and I handled it well.

I handeled it like My Brother Jesus Christ would have.

I love my friends, I love my Family.

I love them so much, Id do anything for anyone of them.

Even someone I dont know.

What I do know

is that I find more peace with myself

When I can handle a situation with Grace and Patience.

And I also know

That any trial I go through will make me Stronger.

I want to be Courageous.

I want to be Strong.

I want to be Tough.

But I dont want

to be hard headed

arrogant or pompous.

I just want to look at myself and say

It's okay. It's All good.

Life

can get better

so can

My Attitude.

Forgive and Forget Quickly.

Love Intensely.

Live Fully.

I have 2 New Albums

On Facebook.

I don't like How is takes Blogger

like 5 hours to download my Photos.

As you all know

I went to vegas last weekend.

It is Filthy

But it was still Funnn.

And this weekend I took a random Trip to Six Flags and Redando Beach

with my friend Trent

And It was a Blassstt!

Needless to say, I give you some picture from each Adventure and if you'd

like to see the rest

Search me On Facebook.

Yes, I do have a facebook.

Yes I do.

This is My Lady Bug, His name is Sace.

I wouldn't necissarily say the giant white bear is

A Creeper.

I would say

He Is.