Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Losing It

Sometimes, I think I've already lost It.
Sometimes, I wish I would.
Then I wouldn't have to worry about it anymore.

I am sitting at home, all alone in my big bed.
Eating grilled chicken and listening to FM Static.
The song is called "Take me as I am"

Perfect.

Is it so wrong that I hate being alone?
I don't want to spend my time thinking about myself
Worrying about little things that never matter
or ever will.
I hate the feeling that at any moment I could think something I dont want to.
Don't get me wrong.
I am so comfortable just relaxing.
I am okay when I can be quiet and Peaceful.

My life isn't so hectic and insane that when I get the chance to breathe
I don't.

Because I do.
But I know I have to ability to make it so much better
with someone by my side.
I will never be
and I am not the type

who wants to be alone.

I want to love someone
Take care of them.
Give them all that I have, and Fight to give them even more than that.
I want to feel peaceful knowing I can give all I have to offer
to someone who wants it.

I know.
Some may say Im in too much of a hurry.
But I'm not.

I just know when I am happiest.
When I can fully give all I have to someone.

Sue me.
But don't really....I don't have anything to give
But Love.

So if you wanna, you can sew me for that.

I just know one thing
God made me this way for a reason
I'd rather spend all my time serving and doting on someone else
because when I'm alone
all I do is think think think

and it never gets me anywhere but
down.

So for now, I'll settle with my chicken and Hunger Games.
Ill listen to music.
Make my bed.
Do the 3 dishes in the sink
and clean out the fridge.
But

I know sooner than later
I'll just wanna say goodnight to someone.
And love them.

One things for sure...
When that day comes...
I will have plenty of love to give and It wont ever go away.

And I am okay with that.

I may be losin' my mind but I still got my Heart.





(P.S. I loooove you guys!)

2 comments:

Buck and Whitni Watkins said...

You aren't losing it.
PS. its sue, not sew. :-)

Brady & Alexes Brown said...

Bree, I love you! I miss you a ton girl! You are such a strong woman and I truly admire you for that! keep it up!